Wednesday, August 5, 2009

young girls

Well it's been a long time since I made a post but I thought this idea merited some written organization.

I work at Chili's Bar and Grill and recently transferred to a new store closer to where I live. One of the other servers there, Madison, is very cute, very sexy. When I started working there she immediately started flirting with me. Not like, suggestive flirting, just unusual interest in me and stuff like "we should hang out sometime" this and "you're so funny!" that. She's 19 so I had my reservations about responding but she seemed interested in me so I wasn't going to say no.

I get her number and we text back and forth a bit, semi-flirty stuff. So I asked her out on a date, we go rock climbing, have a great time. To me it seems like things went really well, and I felt like we had some chemistry. So I start getting into this girl, thinking maybe things might go somewhere. I have a party at my house a few days later, invite a bunch of friends, mostly from work, and she comes. At the party she still seems kinda into me but I feel like I'm competing for her attention a bit, that annoys me.

After that I try and set up another date, but she's really flaky about it. I call, I get a voice mail, she doesn't return my call. I text, she says she didn't get it. I ask her out for another night, she says she's working. I try a different night, she says she works that night too. At this point I'm beginning to wonder if in fact she was interested at all? Because it seems to me if someone wants to go out with you, even if they're busy they will try to offer an alternative time that works for them. "No I work that night but I'm off the night after" etc. But no, nothin. So I send her a text "Do you WANT to go out again? Because I felt like we had some chemistry last time but maybe you didn't?"

She never responds.

And so that got me thinking. Obviously her not responding says it all. And I started wondering how I could've started falling for this girl when it was apparent to me now that she wasn't really interested at all. And then I started realizing that she's just a flirt. A flaky girl who feeds off the attention that all the guys give her and loves every moment of it. It may not be her intention to have guys think she's into them when she really isn't at all, but sometimes it's not all about intentions.

So then I started wondering if I should still work at it. Because *I* felt like she was a great girl, she met most of my criteria and from everything I'd seen so far, I really thought she was someone I could really get along with. But then I started getting indignant. Why would I try and convince someone why they should date me if they don't necessarily care to? That's just stupid. Life is too short to spend time waiting for someone to decide that you're worth their attention.

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a great guy. A girl would BE so lucky to date me. And I know that sounds incredibly conceited, but I have to give value to myself so I don't end up selling myself short. I'm not saying what I have and what I am is what every girl is looking for, but I do have quite a few desirable traits. I'm working on bettering myself by going to school, I work two jobs to support myself and enjoy a comfortable life style, I enjoy a broad range of interests from video games to athletics to music to puzzles, I have a good selection of talents, I'm tall dark and handsome, I'm responsible but also care-free, I bring almost no baggage to a relationship, I'm almost void of all drama, and more.

I have some undesirable traits too, but who doesn't. My point is, I have to give myself the credit I deserve. I can't be spending time chasing after girls who aren't interested in me, desirable though they may be.

They say girls mature faster than guys, and I think I can agree with that, until about the age 15. I think girls are 15 for 10 years, and then when they turn 25 they rapidly mature and realize their party-hardy attitude towards dating and guys for the last 10 years isn't getting them anywhere and they start to realize what will. I'm pretty sure I knew that already, hence my original reservations about bothering with a 19 year old. However I guess I was banking on the exception to the rule. Not all girls are flirty and indecisive for that long. Some, like my sister and my sister-in-law, shape up much earlier. I guess that's what I was hoping Madison was. But oh well. I'm not in any hurry to meet that special someone, and they say the person who is giving the least amount of special attention to finding love is the one most likely to find it. I'm too great of a guy to be chasing after bimbos. And a lot of other guys are too. These girls will lead us on a never ending rabbit chase, and we need to see these girls for what they are. If you're in the 18-25 range, don't be frustrated if you can't find a girl that doesn't play games or send mixed signals. Wait for a few years, or date someone older. It's just not worth chasing that girl who doesn't need you, you're better than that. Keep your chin up, there's someone out there who will love and need you just as much as you love and need them, and there is for me too.

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