Okay this is something that I've experienced a lot over the last year, and no matter the frequency, it has never ceased to bother me, and I plead I'm not the only one.
So I dunno what it is with girls these days but most of the ones I've interacted with play games. I'm not sure the motivation, I'm not going to venture a guess, but it doesn't seem to matter the age of said girl, the maturity level, or actual stage of the relationship. They all seem to enjoy playing the same games with men. I'm going to explore two of these games specifically:
First and foremost,
The 'Hey' Phenomenon:
Why do girls think this is an acceptable thing to text a guy? All by it self, with no previous expectation for a text, or previous agenda at hand. A girl will just text you, out of nowhere, saying "Hey". It makes absolutely no sense. It has no foundation for a conversation, it opens no avenues of discussion topic, and it has no agenda. But almost every girl I've texted over the last couple years has done it to me.
As much time as I've spent wondering about the origins of this useless conversation starter, the best argument I've come up with for it's existence is that the girl is just trying to get your attention...in the easiest way possible. They want you to be thinking about them, but without the effort of thinking about something meaningful to text you about. So instead, they just opt to use the most simple of all conversation starters, indeed the first word of most conversations: "Hey", and then I guess they just hope the guy will fill in the rest.
Personally, if you ask me, it's pretty damn annoying and it seems awful lazy on her part. When a girl uses this on me, and texts me "Hey!" or "Hi" or any other meaningless one word text, all it says to me is: "I'm thinking about you, and want you to be thinking about me, but I have nothing meaningful to say and am instead hoping that you do."
I wonder if guys had to deal with this phenomenon before texting became big, albeit in other ways I'm sure. I like to imagine a scenario in the 1800s where some Beau was courting some Dame and their only correspondence was by courier because he's in some war and she's living at home in her daddy's mansion, and he goes weeks at a time fighting and thinking about her, dreaming about the next letter. Finally he gets one from her, and he's so excited as he opens it, and in that old 1800s cursive handwritten script is just the word: "Hey!". What a girl!
The second mind game,
The "Fake upset" syndrome:
This is something I think has maybe been around since the beginning of time, and like the "Hey" phenomenon, it seems to transcend all age/race/maturity/and social class boundaries. So you're hanging out with some girl, you're snuggling on the couch, let's say, and you're having a good conversation, just back and forth banter about whatever. You say something that could be slightly misconstrued, and she jumps on it. She 'acts' offended at what you said/did, and pulls away from you saying she can't believe you said/did that. Truth be told, she's totally faking it and though she may genuinely have been offended to some degree, it's not nearly to the extent that she's playing it out to be. So then she expects you to apologize, warm up to her again, 'beg for her forgiveness' over some issue that she wasn't even really offended about, she's just faking it to make a show over it and get your attention.
To be honest I've had several different girls pull this on me, multiple times also within the last year. Be it 'serious girlfriend', 'new love interest', 'flirting companion', or whatever. Why a girl would want to take a totally wonderful situation, in which you're getting close and flirting over mindless things, and then turn it into a hostile environment in which she's faking being offended? I just don't understand the motivation there! Is it fun for her to put her man in an uncomfortable situation? Is she trying to assert dominance? I don't get it, and I REALLY don't like it.
Like the 'hey' phenomenon strikes me as a 'lazy' thing, this strikes me almost as an 'arrogant' thing. It's pretty bold to assume your man will immediately apologize over a 'made up' issue =\.
To be completely honest I'd love to have some girl over at my house, snuggling with me on my couch, and then fake getting offended at something I said and having her pull back and sit a few feet away and fake pouting. I'd love to just get up off the couch and be like "Okay, you wanna play that that game? Well I don't, and I believe you can find your way out the door. Call me later if you decide I'm worth your respect.", and just walk over to the door and hold it open for her.
Granted I know there's some things girls are just going to do in relationships that are infuriating, but I feel like I'm perfectly justified in ranting about them, put up with them though I may. I'd love to have the luxury of NOT putting up with it, but let's me honest, I'd need a lot of girls throwing themselves at me before I felt good about ACTUALLY upsetting ones that were just faking being upset when I demanded they leave until they decided to 'grow up'. But a guy can dream right?
Friday, November 5, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
A reconciliation of my beliefs
So recently I've been going through and reading and rereading a lot of my writings from throughout the years. All of my blog posts (the significant ones), all of my family letters detailing events of my life, and old journal entries. It's given me great insight into who I am and who I've become. It's also given me insight into who I used to be and what I used to think about things.
What I've concluded is this: all growing up I had faith in God, in his existence and in his caring guidance in my life. I made references to these beliefs as recently as summer 2006 when I expressed in a family letter my belief that the Lord would help take care of my brother and I as we worked for the summer in Gary, IN.
However what I also found is there was a very distinct time in my life where I began to question everything, all aspects of society and of my life. I think some of these questions led to interesting and positive realizations, but I think some of them led to destructive thought processes that broke down my faith, the faith I'd always had.
What's significant about these observations is that while reading through blog entries and family letters during that questioning and cynical part of my life, I realized most of those thoughts and philosophies I expressed are no longer applicable to the way I feel now. I read them and I feel like I'm reading the thoughts of someone else, and not my own. Which further made me realize that while I went through that questioning phase, I still have strong core beliefs that have been resolute throughout that time.
So to pull a trick out of the US Supreme Court's book, I'm going to reverse some decisions expressed in the past that I feel are no longer a reflection of my person:
1) My statement that I believed God created us but didn't actively intervene in the lives of man. I now feel like I've known all along that He, in fact, does. Sometimes He makes it more obvious, but usually it's in subtle ways that only those are are spiritually attuned will take notice of. I feel like God has intervened often in my life, some of them I've recognized, most of them I probably haven't. I hope to one day be able to recognize the hand of God taking part in my life every day.
2) My statement that I was denouncing my belief in the supremacy of God's law. I now feel like this was a silly statement to make, as I'd previously expressed a belief in God but then denounced belief in his Divinity? Those are very obviously contradicting statements.
3) My expressed disbelief in Jesus Christ being the Son of God. I feel like this also was a silly statement to make, and that I've known otherwise all along.
I dunno, I'm sure there's more, but I didn't keep notes while I was rereading through old entries. I do remember strongly feeling like I was reading someone else's writings during most of them. What I most strongly know now is that family is the most vital element of both our temporary and immortal existences. I love my family so much and they have played and continue to play a major role in my life. I wanted to share a piece of a family letter I wrote summer of 2005 during which time I was about to move from Dallas back up to Utah on a short-notice decision by my summer employer:
"Know that I love my family very much and would love nothing more than to be able to spend time with all of them at least once a week, if not multiple times a week, but it looks like the Big Man upstairs has different plans in mind for Maretta and myself. I am a very strong believer that everything happens for a reason. There's a reason why we came down to Dallas for this program and there's a reason why it didn't work out and now we're going back to Utah. I'm just glad I got to see my family at least a few times while down here. When I think of all the people in the world who never get to spend time with their family, or worse, have a family they despise, it makes me realize how lucky I am to have a very loving and centralized family."
I dunno how many 19 yr olds you hear saying that kind of stuff about their family, and when I read stuff like that that I wrote as a teenager, it makes me proud. Proud of who I've always been and what I've always known. I know it will be because of family that I will dive headlong back into religion, whether it's my family consisting of parents and siblings, or whether it's my own personal family that I'm anxious to one day begin. There's is a love in my family that I feel like sometimes is indescribable. This is something I can perceive and feel in my immediate family, it is something I know. I feel like it is also a feeling I could know in regards to my eternal parents and my eternal family, and I want to be some day able to make that connection.
I don't know what's in the cards for me, either in this life or in the life after, but I know I am capable of great things, and I would like to extend my love and appreciation for all those who have helped or will help me to accomplish those things. I can only hope to do the same for those I love.
What I've concluded is this: all growing up I had faith in God, in his existence and in his caring guidance in my life. I made references to these beliefs as recently as summer 2006 when I expressed in a family letter my belief that the Lord would help take care of my brother and I as we worked for the summer in Gary, IN.
However what I also found is there was a very distinct time in my life where I began to question everything, all aspects of society and of my life. I think some of these questions led to interesting and positive realizations, but I think some of them led to destructive thought processes that broke down my faith, the faith I'd always had.
What's significant about these observations is that while reading through blog entries and family letters during that questioning and cynical part of my life, I realized most of those thoughts and philosophies I expressed are no longer applicable to the way I feel now. I read them and I feel like I'm reading the thoughts of someone else, and not my own. Which further made me realize that while I went through that questioning phase, I still have strong core beliefs that have been resolute throughout that time.
So to pull a trick out of the US Supreme Court's book, I'm going to reverse some decisions expressed in the past that I feel are no longer a reflection of my person:
1) My statement that I believed God created us but didn't actively intervene in the lives of man. I now feel like I've known all along that He, in fact, does. Sometimes He makes it more obvious, but usually it's in subtle ways that only those are are spiritually attuned will take notice of. I feel like God has intervened often in my life, some of them I've recognized, most of them I probably haven't. I hope to one day be able to recognize the hand of God taking part in my life every day.
2) My statement that I was denouncing my belief in the supremacy of God's law. I now feel like this was a silly statement to make, as I'd previously expressed a belief in God but then denounced belief in his Divinity? Those are very obviously contradicting statements.
3) My expressed disbelief in Jesus Christ being the Son of God. I feel like this also was a silly statement to make, and that I've known otherwise all along.
I dunno, I'm sure there's more, but I didn't keep notes while I was rereading through old entries. I do remember strongly feeling like I was reading someone else's writings during most of them. What I most strongly know now is that family is the most vital element of both our temporary and immortal existences. I love my family so much and they have played and continue to play a major role in my life. I wanted to share a piece of a family letter I wrote summer of 2005 during which time I was about to move from Dallas back up to Utah on a short-notice decision by my summer employer:
"Know that I love my family very much and would love nothing more than to be able to spend time with all of them at least once a week, if not multiple times a week, but it looks like the Big Man upstairs has different plans in mind for Maretta and myself. I am a very strong believer that everything happens for a reason. There's a reason why we came down to Dallas for this program and there's a reason why it didn't work out and now we're going back to Utah. I'm just glad I got to see my family at least a few times while down here. When I think of all the people in the world who never get to spend time with their family, or worse, have a family they despise, it makes me realize how lucky I am to have a very loving and centralized family."
I dunno how many 19 yr olds you hear saying that kind of stuff about their family, and when I read stuff like that that I wrote as a teenager, it makes me proud. Proud of who I've always been and what I've always known. I know it will be because of family that I will dive headlong back into religion, whether it's my family consisting of parents and siblings, or whether it's my own personal family that I'm anxious to one day begin. There's is a love in my family that I feel like sometimes is indescribable. This is something I can perceive and feel in my immediate family, it is something I know. I feel like it is also a feeling I could know in regards to my eternal parents and my eternal family, and I want to be some day able to make that connection.
I don't know what's in the cards for me, either in this life or in the life after, but I know I am capable of great things, and I would like to extend my love and appreciation for all those who have helped or will help me to accomplish those things. I can only hope to do the same for those I love.
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