Okay this is something that I've experienced a lot over the last year, and no matter the frequency, it has never ceased to bother me, and I plead I'm not the only one.
So I dunno what it is with girls these days but most of the ones I've interacted with play games. I'm not sure the motivation, I'm not going to venture a guess, but it doesn't seem to matter the age of said girl, the maturity level, or actual stage of the relationship. They all seem to enjoy playing the same games with men. I'm going to explore two of these games specifically:
First and foremost,
The 'Hey' Phenomenon:
Why do girls think this is an acceptable thing to text a guy? All by it self, with no previous expectation for a text, or previous agenda at hand. A girl will just text you, out of nowhere, saying "Hey". It makes absolutely no sense. It has no foundation for a conversation, it opens no avenues of discussion topic, and it has no agenda. But almost every girl I've texted over the last couple years has done it to me.
As much time as I've spent wondering about the origins of this useless conversation starter, the best argument I've come up with for it's existence is that the girl is just trying to get your attention...in the easiest way possible. They want you to be thinking about them, but without the effort of thinking about something meaningful to text you about. So instead, they just opt to use the most simple of all conversation starters, indeed the first word of most conversations: "Hey", and then I guess they just hope the guy will fill in the rest.
Personally, if you ask me, it's pretty damn annoying and it seems awful lazy on her part. When a girl uses this on me, and texts me "Hey!" or "Hi" or any other meaningless one word text, all it says to me is: "I'm thinking about you, and want you to be thinking about me, but I have nothing meaningful to say and am instead hoping that you do."
I wonder if guys had to deal with this phenomenon before texting became big, albeit in other ways I'm sure. I like to imagine a scenario in the 1800s where some Beau was courting some Dame and their only correspondence was by courier because he's in some war and she's living at home in her daddy's mansion, and he goes weeks at a time fighting and thinking about her, dreaming about the next letter. Finally he gets one from her, and he's so excited as he opens it, and in that old 1800s cursive handwritten script is just the word: "Hey!". What a girl!
The second mind game,
The "Fake upset" syndrome:
This is something I think has maybe been around since the beginning of time, and like the "Hey" phenomenon, it seems to transcend all age/race/maturity/and social class boundaries. So you're hanging out with some girl, you're snuggling on the couch, let's say, and you're having a good conversation, just back and forth banter about whatever. You say something that could be slightly misconstrued, and she jumps on it. She 'acts' offended at what you said/did, and pulls away from you saying she can't believe you said/did that. Truth be told, she's totally faking it and though she may genuinely have been offended to some degree, it's not nearly to the extent that she's playing it out to be. So then she expects you to apologize, warm up to her again, 'beg for her forgiveness' over some issue that she wasn't even really offended about, she's just faking it to make a show over it and get your attention.
To be honest I've had several different girls pull this on me, multiple times also within the last year. Be it 'serious girlfriend', 'new love interest', 'flirting companion', or whatever. Why a girl would want to take a totally wonderful situation, in which you're getting close and flirting over mindless things, and then turn it into a hostile environment in which she's faking being offended? I just don't understand the motivation there! Is it fun for her to put her man in an uncomfortable situation? Is she trying to assert dominance? I don't get it, and I REALLY don't like it.
Like the 'hey' phenomenon strikes me as a 'lazy' thing, this strikes me almost as an 'arrogant' thing. It's pretty bold to assume your man will immediately apologize over a 'made up' issue =\.
To be completely honest I'd love to have some girl over at my house, snuggling with me on my couch, and then fake getting offended at something I said and having her pull back and sit a few feet away and fake pouting. I'd love to just get up off the couch and be like "Okay, you wanna play that that game? Well I don't, and I believe you can find your way out the door. Call me later if you decide I'm worth your respect.", and just walk over to the door and hold it open for her.
Granted I know there's some things girls are just going to do in relationships that are infuriating, but I feel like I'm perfectly justified in ranting about them, put up with them though I may. I'd love to have the luxury of NOT putting up with it, but let's me honest, I'd need a lot of girls throwing themselves at me before I felt good about ACTUALLY upsetting ones that were just faking being upset when I demanded they leave until they decided to 'grow up'. But a guy can dream right?
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6 comments:
you gotta put your foot down on that bullshit.
girls for the lose. women for the win.
glhf
-max
Dairypoo,
I think you deserve a great girl who doesn't mess with you. You're a great guy, and I'm sorry there are idiot girls..women..whatever..out there doing (and/or have done) those things to you. Those girls are NEVER worth it, anyway, and will be beyond miserable for the rest of their lives. They obviously have some sort of attention and confidence issue. But sooner or later, hopefully sooner, you'll find a girl that doesn't play games with you, or feels the need to power over you. Promise.
Keep smiling and hugging.
Love ya :)
Max I hope you don't assume that age alone merits the difference between a 'girl' and a 'woman', because rest assured, that has not been my experience at all.
Like I said, I've seen both of these behaviors displayed by girls of all age categories; younger, my age, and older. They all seem to do it. So it's either just a natural female thing to do, or I just haven't met and/or identified any "women" (as you put it) in my lifetime. Personally I think both sound likely.
And Abby, thanks for your vote of confidence. However, I would have a hard time believing that you've never done one of these two things to a guy before.
By no means am I condemning girls that do this, I'm just ranting about it and expressing my frustration. With my track record, I have no reason to believe that I'm just ending up with all the "idiot girls" (as you put it), but instead it seems more likely that just all women do it, to some degree. Not sure I'll ever get used to it though.
that's why you just date girls like that, if they start to act all retarded, drop them.
How hard is it? Don't bother getting emotionally involved with anyone until you're sure their BS is at a minimum.
I assume you're talking about this last girl? The one you're in a relationship with on facebook? :P
Truth be told I am pretty good about abstaining from emotional involvement until I know something solid is tacked down. Much better than I was 3 years ago (which is still sad). Over the first week I was falling pretty heavy into it, over the second week I've detached myself entirely.
And as far as this last girl, yes and no. I'm not talking about her exclusively, but yes she is the most recent straw on the camel's back.
Like I told you today, I don't remember doing stuff like this, although I may have once before.
But no guys have ever been interested in me anyway, sooooo that's why I say I don't think I have.
But anywho....
Like I said, you'll find a girl that perhaps keeps the games to a minimum :)
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